Friday, August 19, 2011

Aqui, ya.

Yesterday I was in the supermercado trying to stock up on some basic foods (peanut butter and bread and cookies) to keep in my room when some nostalgia from home hit me HARD. The rest of the night was spent in jovial company as my roomate, DJ Jessie, C.I. Jane, and all the gals on our trip enjoyed our post-conferencia in our spacious pad. We ate dinner in and I started to read an absorbing locally-authored autobiography, and cackled about Sarah's blog post from last night. Yet, as I fell asleep...I was still imagining other places and people and things I have experienced.

Fast forward to this morning, there I was stiffly stumbling from slumbering in my fresh scrubs and clambering for cafe. The long day ahead--my clinica rotation, riding in "El Van," doing a head-to-toe for my familia and trying to organize our presentation for next week--seemed daunting and tiring before I even left the breakfast table.

Throughout the dia the tide of trepidation turned into something different. A solid and overwhelming sentiment took a hold:
TRUE. ENJOYMENT. OF. THIS. VERY. MOMENT.

Amidst the women with wriggling babies in their laps, the elderly men and women quietly awaiting their turn in the consultorio, the soft and shy smiles as we exchanged "Buen dias" and the general/genial/genuine interest in the fumbling nursing students as they struggled to decipher weight scales in kilograms and read blood pressures in a bustling waiting sala (room), I found fulfillment in that very second.

Today the thought recycled itself: There is no where else in the world that I am supposed to be. For these two weeks, for today, for this morning, this hour and this momentito I am exactly where I need to be.

With the intensity of our school demands, desire and commitments to family, friends, exercise and sleep I have lived under the shadow of "I should be..." What clarity and relief the recognition of "I am" has provided me today.
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Our group is off to a concert by a former revolutionary and current poet tonight
( a sample: http://youtu.be/kkN4KWrT7Rs ). I continue my faith in the 'right now.'

1 comment:

  1. Alicia, Gracias por la musica. There is something so very solid and positive about the people in Nicaragua. Not sure that I can explain but I find it very enchanting.

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